jesus freak

 ”Victoria Jackson hurtles through intersections and down side streets while using her left hand to hold a Flip cam to her face. The inside of her car—a weathered Honda Civic with “Nobama,” Marco Rubio, and Tea Party bumper stickers—smells like it has been fumigated with sweet incense. Steering with elbows and the occasional pinkie, she opens a Bible inscribed with her name and quotes Scripture in her inimitable high-pitched voice. Then she turns the camera on a reporter riding shotgun. She suspects he’s a socialist. “Don’t you think that some people are on welfare from cradle to grave,” she demands, “because the government is encouraging them never to work?”

“At age 52, Victoria Jackson bears little resemblance to that lithe and sweetly dopey girl with the grating voice on Saturday Night Live. And you wouldn’t recognize her from those eight mostly forgettable ’80s and ’90s feature films, such as I Love You to Death and No More Baths. She’s more plump. Or as Howard Stern recently put it, she “looks like she ate Victoria Jackson.” “

 

land of the free

United States
We received a request from a local law enforcement agency to remove YouTube videos of police brutality, which we did not remove. Separately, we received requests from a different local law enforcement agency for removal of videos allegedly defaming law enforcement officials. We did not comply with those requests, which we have categorized in this Report as defamation requests.

The number of content removal requests we received increased by 70% compared to the previous reporting period.
The number of user data requests we received increased by 29% compared to the previous reporting period.

(from: http://www.google.com/transparencyreport/governmentrequests/)

And US ranks 47th on the Press Freedom Index 2011-2012

o tempero da vida (dialogo com a nasa)

é quando um satelite meteorologico desativado do tamanho d’um onibus graúdo vai reentrar na atmosfera da terra nas proximas 36 horas e ninguem (to falando de ti, nasa) sabe exatamente quando ou aonde ele vai cair.

mas diz a nasa que …the satellite will not be passing over North America during that time period..

mas com o resto do mundo ninguem se importa, não?

é por isso que o mundo odeia voces, nasa (correto, mundo?)

…

dado:

as chances de um ser humano levar um satélite na cabeça são de 1 para 32.000. as chances de TU levar um satélite na cabeça são de 1 para 220,800,000,000,000.

as chances de ganhar na loteria são de 1 para 90,000,000 (variando de acordo com a densidade demografica e numero de pessoas sem nenhuma noção de estatistica por regiao) e as chances de ser atingido por um raio são de 1 para 2,650,000 (variando de acordo com a época do ano), mas ainda assim eu fico meio cabreiro com essa irresponsabilidade juvenil da nasa (satélite aleatório caindo e os caras-de-jaleco-branco fingindo que não é nada de mais, sério? “oh, provavelmente vai cair na água”)

fala isso pro peixe e ve a cara de faceiro dele, mlk.

é por isso que tão sistematicamente, ano após ano, cortanto o orçamento de voces, galere. vamo se ligá*

* – sem citar o fato de que os planos pro saturn 5, o foguete que nos salvaria do destino dos dinossauros, foram jogados fora num FAXINÃO pela tia da limpeza da nasa. e agora, como que a gente vai explodir bomba atomica no espaço?

bom trabalho, pessoal.

melhor resposta

An acupuncturist wishes to make a (heh-heh) point
Dear Cecil:

As a practicing acupuncturist I would like to add something to your recent discussion of acupuncture. First of all, it is not completely correct to say that “no entirely satisfactory explanation for acupuncture has yet been offered.” Traditional acupuncture theory, which involves the body’s intricate meridian system and regulation of qi/energy flow, is a very satisfactory and usable explanation of the therapy’s effectiveness.

Second, while endorphin release or nerve junction theories may explain some aspects of acupuncture mechanics, they cannot account for the broad spectrum of illnesses which have been found to respond well to acupuncture treatment, including such diverse problems as bronchitis, menstrual irregularities, depression and high blood pressure, to name but a few. Hopefully future research will enable us to integrate traditional acupuncture theory with modern medical concepts to the satisfaction of health care practitioners in both East and West.

— Dan P., AcT., Chicago

Cecil replies:

“Traditional acupuncture theory” is a quaint patchwork of folklore with about as much relevance to current medical practice as medieval European notions about the four bodily humors. While it may be useful as a guide to future research, no scientist would regard it as satisfactory as it stands.

relevante II

Assis convoca coletiva e Ronaldinho afirma: “Hoje vou jantar”
Quinta 06 | 16h30

Craque reuniu jornalistas no Copacabana Palace e anunciou cardápio.

Na tarde desta quarta, Ronaldinho e Assis convocaram imprensa mundial para anunciar o cardápio da noite de hoje: peixe assado.

- Hoje vou comer um peixinho. Comida leve pra não pesar na balada. Mas to feliz, to contente – afirmou o craque.

Assis, irmão e empresário completou:

- O Ronaldo hoje jantará por volta das oito da noite. Amanhã, por volta do meio-dia deve almoçar – encerrando a coletiva.

melhor jornal, esse O Bairrista. quase um THE ONION gaucho.

relevante

lista interessante (2a. posicao é a campea moral, claramente)

Farveste nos melhores do ano Sinewave

link para download

faixa 5, gandhi.

Forced ARTificial Scarcity

That’s what ACTA is about. This massive worldwide treaty would bring the hammer down on anyone violating intellectual property laws. Everyone on the Internet hates it because we know it 1) would have to be incredibly invasive, to the point of basically peering into everyone’s hard drive at any moment for signs of contraband, and 2) is futile. It’s a leaking ship trying to stay afloat by threatening the ocean with its cannons.

soul of the ghost

#922982 +(2516)- [X]
lemonlimeskull: So I’m sitting in Hardee’s (Carl’s JR for anyone here one the west coast)
lemonlimeskull: This huge African American dude sits across from me at the booth. Plenty of tables around, of course, since this is Hardee’s.
lemonlimeskull: Since I don’t usually have uninvited guests at fast food restaurants, I’m naturally a bit put off while simultaniously wondering what the deal is.
lemonlimeskull: The guy goes “Hey, man what you do for a living?”
lemonlimeskull: I must’ve looked really confused, but I manage to answer “Game designer… Why?”
lemonlimeskull: The guy sits there for a good thirty seconds, looking out the window over my shoulder.
lemonlimeskull: Then he finally looks me straight on and says “Good, lemme ask you a question…”
lemonlimeskull: “Why don’t Pacman wanna eat eyes?”
lemonlimeskull: I just gave him this really quizzical look, then he gets up and leaves.
lemonlimeskull: After a few seconds of wondering wtf that was all about, I look out the window over my shoulder and see about five police cars slowly driving off into the distance.
lemonlimeskull: The worst part is…… WHY doesn’t Pacman wanna eat eyes?!

Melhor Video

Uncle Ringo’s so much cooler

S H O R T I M A G I N E D
M O N O L O G U E S .

- – - -

JULIAN LENNON, ON THE EVE OF HIS PARENTS’ DIVORCE, SITS THROUGH A NEW SONG BY UNCLE PAUL.

BY MICHAEL ROTTMAN

- – - -

Okay, what’s going on?

Why is everyone staring at me? What is it now? I don’t need another bomb exploding. My life is fucked. I want to go in my room and turn off the lights, kick the walls and rip out pages from my Noddy books.

Oh fantastic, Stupidface is here. Why’s he at the piano? What’s this chair in the middle of the room? Oh Mum, don’t make me sit. Can’t they see this is–

“A little something to ease the pain?” Mum, what is he…?

No… no… not a song. God, not a song. Is he for fucking real? Please let it be an instrumental–

AAAGGGGHHH.

I’ve never wanted to die more than right now. Stop staring at me, all of you. Please stop staring. Stop using that face. I’m not a cancer patient. You all have that face! Rrrgggh!

Remember to let who into my heart? That crazy woman who cooks me piles of rice in the shape of vulvas? I’m not talking to her again. Or does he mean Mum, who’s started lighting fires in the backyard?

Jesus, he looks like a Saint Bernard when he sings, hasn’t anyone ever told him that? Stop with the eyes already, I’m not a 17-year-old tart. And my name is Julian. JULIAN. It’s girly enough already. What are the boys at school going to think of “Jude”? I guess mangling my name was worth it if it saves you two syllables. Lazy bastard.

Mum… ow… stop. She’s practically strangling me. When’s the last time she showered? I wonder if I can get a kitten out of this.

I’m in hell. No question. This smile is burning a hole through my head.

“The movement I need is on my shoulder?” I thought the world was on my shoulders. Did the world take a dump on me? If you’re going to throw in nonsense lyrics, at least make them trippy. They’re looking at me for reactions. How do you react to this? If I laugh, Stupidface will think he’s cheering me up. If I cry, he’ll try even harder. Maybe I can pretend to be sick and run off to the loo. Then duck out the back door.

Jesus Christ on a crutch, HOW LONG IS THIS THING? Oh excellent, he’s forgotten the rest of the words, he’s just singing na-na-na-nahhhh. Maybe that means he’ll end it. Wait, what? Mum, please, no, don’t join in, you’re drunk. Oh fuck me, now they’re all doing it! I’m going to throw this fucking chair in a second. I am not clapping along. No. NO.

Can it be over? Do I dare believe? It’s over, and… he’s waiting for his hug. He’s actually waiting with his arms open.

God, what a prick. Uncle Ringo’s so much cooler.

daqui

luto eterno

manute bol nao esta mais entre nos

latest release

melhor site (5)

savage chickens

update do fim do mundo

CERN
Follow Lists

#LHC is now ramping down. This closes the first physics fill of protons at 7 TeV.Thanks for following and goodbye for today.
about 4 hours ago via web

Experiments have half million events! More than three hours of stable and colliding beams. WOW!
about 4 hours ago via web

Experiments have already recorded thousands of events! We had more than 1 hour of stable and colliding beams
about 6 hours ago via web

The Press Release is now available: http://bit.ly/9A2Me8
about 7 hours ago via web

Now we have stable colliding beams-first time ever at this energy!
about 8 hours ago via web

Live webcast: http://bit.ly/aQftoi (nota: meio tosco o webcast, cheio das FALHA)
about 8 hours ago via web

Experiments are collecting their first physics data – historic moment here! Watch the webcast, look at the photos – all live!
about 8 hours ago via web

Nature does it all the time with cosmic rays (and with higher energy) but this is the first time this is done in Laboratory!!
about 8 hours ago via web

First time in the history!!!!!!!!!!!! World record!!!!!!!!
about 8 hours ago via web

Experiment have seen collisions!!!!!!!!!!!
about 8 hours ago via web

(from CERN’s twitter – www.twitter.com/CERN)

preparação para 2012

pernas p qem te tenho, vão ligar o LHC de novo.

espero que não rompa o espaço-tempo.

melhor historia

Porra, Puma!

porra.

Porra Maurício!

genial

apice do cinema nacional

clássico instantaneo desse caldeirao fervente de espontaneidade e malemolencia que é a cultura de raiz do povo brasileiro, o filme a seguir merece desde já um lugar de destaque no panteão das grandes produções do injustiçado (rá!) cinema nacional.

sério mesmo, esse é nosso “turkish star wars”. que lhe seja dado o devido reconhecimento. e vivas ao youtube (chupa cicarelli – ns)

parte 1 – pontos altos – abertura é uma cena externa com alexandre pires dançando TRI a vontade. corta pro sertao baiano. mae de carlinha tosse forçado, pai pega cobra e resmunga da vida. carlinha sai dançando pra arranjar uns trocados na beira da estrada, aonde piás vendem passarinhos e iguanas enquanto tentam ser atropelados por caminhoes.

parte 2 – aos 2:28 rola uma HINT de pedofilia PEGADA, ali. triste, mas um retrato fiel do nordeste, terra da pedofilia e do maxixe.

parte 3 – jovens passam os dias cheirando cola e dancando nas ruas de salvador, enquanto cometem pequenos crimes. “mas essa baianinha parece uma cinderela. sera que é o anjo que veio iluminar minha vida?”

parte 4 – o proprio coisa-ruim faz sua aparicao, apos baianas chamarem na danca de sata. carlinha se equivoca e dança junto. depois, cena com “dança da sensual” tocando ao fundo. trimassa.

parte 5 – carla perez inicia esse capitulo sendo humilhada afú. turco louco ve carlinha mexendo e começa a gritar descontroladamente. beleza rara toca. banda eva COORDENA. turco louco surta novamente, joga meloes para o alto, canta a musica dos 7 anoes, olha no telescopio e encontra carlinha.

parte 6 – a sorte de carlinha muda quando ela encontra turco louco. numa vibe CREEPY GUY, turco louco contrata carlinha para protagonizar o seu show, ao que ela responde: – “prota o que?”, piada recorrente que se repetirá mais tarde, mostrando todo bom humor e espontaneidade ingenua do povo brasileiro. cena muito perturbadora aos 6:00.

parte 7 – carlinha continua em sua ascenção meteórica. araketu toca e deixa todo mundo pulando que nem pipoca. alexandre pires faz uma ponta. aos 6 minutos, turco louco chama na bizarrice novamente. depois, “ZAVUUM PELOS FUSOS HORARIOS!!!” para conseguir fazer um show em paris e outro em nova iorque no mesmo dia.

parte 8 – carlinha no PROGRAMA AGA, com luciano huck. cade a tiazinha? turco louco marca CINQUENTA SHOWS para o proximo mes. carlinha reclama e cria falsas esperanças de casamento para o turco louco. contadores reclamam do governo e suas entranhas burocraticas. cantorzinho sorridente aparece DO NADA e declara seu amor por carlinha. descobre-se que turco louco fez alexandre pires passar meio ano degredado na africa, “tocando de tribo em tribo”. cena de luta SENSACIONAL aos 4:30 mins. aos SEIS MINUTOS, pra variar, turco louco creepeia tudo de novo. muito sensacional esse ator. “proto o que?”. “acho que estou precisando de um namorado”, carlinha declara.

parte 9 – carlinha solta passarinhos, da licao de moral na galera e DANÇA O TCHAN. no final rola um lance meio RAMBO III com um helicoptero.

classico instantaneo.